Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Twitterature of The Godfather, Part I



Here's what I think The Godfather would sound like, if retold (parodied) through the tweets of Michael Corleone.The prototype of the expressions used is that of a regular tweeter.
[Assuming, of course, you have either seen the movie or read the novel (preferably both). If neither, you can safely be termed a major loser.]

@MikeCorleone :

Reality check .. I’m the shortest Corleone. Even Connie’s taller. Damn,@KAYADAMS is taller. Everybody thinks I’m a kid..sucks.


At sis’ wedding .. the day people make Dad offers HE won't refuse.

Sonny’s chasing the maid Lucy .. She must have totally made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

Mom thinks Dad’s a mystical person. They all call him Godfather. I call him father; I’m atheist.

Dunno what Dad does for a living..except that he sells olive oil, twists arms, shoots n extorts civilians and there is cash involved.

@Hagen You ACTUALLY got the idea of the horse’s head in his bed?? That so RAWKED man!!!

Lucky rascal! RT @JonnyFontane Off to Hollywood! *kisses imaginary hand of The Godfather* FTW!! :D

Sonny’s the same fucking nut, I see. No manners ..

Okay back 2 America. No more free pizzas, servants running errands and people kissing my hand ..

OMFG THEY TOTALLY GARROTED LUCA BRASI !!

Slipping into mid-life crisis too early I think .. Called home .. Dad was out shopping ..

@Hagen I HAVE TO BE TOLD ABOUT DAD’S INCIDENT BY A GODDAMN NEWSPAPER?! YOU NUTS MAN??

Telling Kay to CTFO..

Arrived @ hospital to see Dad .. not even the nurses are around .. hold on .. NO WA-

ROFLMAO .. Faceless enemy sends a dead, rotting fish as a message. A FISH!

@Solozzo I see you don’t log in often. In that case, you will be totally dead b4 you read this.

Retreat here in Sicily ... Now to celebrate like someone of my age with wine and women.

Night b4 marriage 2 apparent virgin .. nervous :) Kay’ll understand I guess..She looks a half-blonde.

HAHAHA! We really must stop bullying Tom .. RT @Fredo Fuck, Sonny just yelled at Hagen AGAIN!
HOLY LORD WHY DID SHE WANT TO LEARN DRIVING THE CAR IN THE FIRST PLACE? TO SPEED AROUND IN A TOTALLY BACKWARD VILLAGE? Women ..

Won a bet. Sonny once told me the only one who could kill him was himself. I simply never trusted him :D

@DaddyCorleone Enemies closer than friends, eh? R.I.P. for now.

LOL .. I’ll officially be somebody’s Godfather from tomorrow!

Big day .. drawing inspiration 4m videos of Clockwork Orange, Natural Born Killers, Sex Pistols, Genghis Khan.

Call me a kid now, imbeciles. RT @NYTimes Six high-profile murders in NY, Vegas by anonymous hitmen.

OMG a few mafiosi just kissed my hand and called me Godfather. Kay’s watching..err..I must shut the door.




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