A: "So, religion."
B: "Pray, what be the reason to bring this nonsense up?"
A: "So that you congregation of agnosts and atheists may be
illuminated. Thank God for religion."
B: "Huh. Shouldn't it be 'Thank religion for God'?"
A: "Aw, funny! I'm up for talking about your views. Through
what you call acceptance-talking, you need to be shown the right way."
B: "Jeez, no. I have a gut-feeling you'll gut me."
A: "Being a follower, it is my duty to disseminate faith. I
am God, speaking to you right now."
B: "You're talking in delusion and riddles."
A: "That's a lie!"
B: "That's a semantic syllepsis."
A: "Son, you need to diversify your intellect and understand
God, for there will be light in your life."
B: "That was a metaphor."
A: "Good Lord!"
B: "Oxymoron."
A: " "Oh you, of little faith, why do you doubt
me?" "
B: "Because you aren't for real and nor are you ever to
be."
A: "Ah, however catchy that might sound .. "
B: " .. iambic pentameter, yes .. "
A: " .. you still want to leave earth for heaven."
B: "I'll get my DSLR. Is it outdoors, much?"
A: "You're missing the point. The point is you aren't a man
of faith. And that we all, with His graces, need to rise above the dirt we were
made from."
B: "Faith is not the point. The point is the point. The point
is also that since we're all scum anyway, why bother?"
A: "Bother? With unfaltering belief, you shall see Him in
every person and thing."
B: "Even that Willem Dafoe guy does not look like Jesus to
me. Also, the fiscal growth forecast is bonkers."
A: "All you need is patience!"
B: "But patience was invented by Jews to annoy the
Christians. Also, the Christians were invented by Jews to annoy
themselves."
A: "Thus spake the atheist."
B: "You know, there's some symbolic self-defeat in those
words because .. never mind. Stop poking my peace of mind."
A: "No, you listen! Slowly, you need to let go of your habits
of drinking, smoking and playing cards. You must circumvent sin."
B: "You may not play poker but you certainly are one."
A: "So what, then, do you believe in?"
B: "Reasoning."
A: "Maybe your need to reason stems from your doubt, in other
words, your lack of faith!"
B: "Yeah. It's like a unicorn, except you don't need to be
high to see it."
A: "Child, your lack of faith is like this container of water
.. "
B: "And lo, sauvignon blanc."
A: " .. [which] you must populate with only the purest ..
"
B: " .. said Hitler to Goring .. "
A: " .. while discarding the unfit."
B: " .. as Darwin would agree."
A: "What?"
B: "Bose-Einstein condensates."
A: "I mean, remain equal with the universe, at the same time
.. "
B: "You mean, like Kaldor-Hicks efficient?"
A: "Fuck off."
B: "Phnom-Penh."
