Godma

A: "So, religion."

B: "Pray, what be the reason to bring this nonsense up?"

A: "So that you congregation of agnosts and atheists may be illuminated. Thank God for religion."

B: "Huh. Shouldn't it be 'Thank religion for God'?"

A: "Aw, funny! I'm up for talking about your views. Through what you call acceptance-talking, you need to be shown the right way."

B: "Jeez, no. I have a gut-feeling you'll gut me."

A: "Being a follower, it is my duty to disseminate faith. I am God, speaking to you right now."

B: "You're talking in delusion and riddles."

A: "That's a lie!"

B: "That's a semantic syllepsis."

A: "Son, you need to diversify your intellect and understand God, for there will be light in your life."

B: "That was a metaphor."

A: "Good Lord!"

B: "Oxymoron."

A: " "Oh you, of little faith, why do you doubt me?" "

B: "Because you aren't for real and nor are you ever to be."

A: "Ah, however catchy that might sound .. "

B: " .. iambic pentameter, yes .. "

A: " .. you still want to leave earth for heaven."

B: "I'll get my DSLR. Is it outdoors, much?"

A: "You're missing the point. The point is you aren't a man of faith. And that we all, with His graces, need to rise above the dirt we were made from."

B: "Faith is not the point. The point is the point. The point is also that since we're all scum anyway, why bother?"

A: "Bother? With unfaltering belief, you shall see Him in every person and thing."

B: "Even that Willem Dafoe guy does not look like Jesus to me. Also, the fiscal growth forecast is bonkers."

A: "All you need is patience!"

B: "But patience was invented by Jews to annoy the Christians. Also, the Christians were invented by Jews to annoy themselves."

A: "Thus spake the atheist."

B: "You know, there's some symbolic self-defeat in those words because .. never mind. Stop poking my peace of mind."

A: "No, you listen! Slowly, you need to let go of your habits of drinking, smoking and playing cards. You must circumvent sin."

B: "You may not play poker but you certainly are one."

A: "So what, then, do you believe in?"

B: "Reasoning."

A: "Maybe your need to reason stems from your doubt, in other words, your lack of faith!"

B: "Yeah. It's like a unicorn, except you don't need to be high to see it."

A: "Child, your lack of faith is like this container of water .. "

B: "And lo, sauvignon blanc."

A: " .. [which] you must populate with only the purest .. "

B: " .. said Hitler to Goring .. "

A: " .. while discarding the unfit."

B: " .. as Darwin would agree."

A: "What?"

B: "Bose-Einstein condensates."

A: "I mean, remain equal with the universe, at the same time .. "

B: "You mean, like Kaldor-Hicks efficient?"

A: "Fuck off."

B: "Phnom-Penh."